Like so many of us at this time of year, we found ourselves, once again, at a sporting event that one of our grandchildren was playing in. This has been a weekly family ritual since our three children played in their weekly leagues. We enjoy these weekly games and have, on occasion, been known to get a little overzealous rooting for our favorite team. Recently, while sitting on the bleachers, we noted that the tone of the rooting from around us seemed to be taking on an angry tone. Hearing this tone immediately made us realize that we have been hearing this quality of tone in other situations.
A few weeks earlier, while traveling to a speaking engagement, we overheard a few individuals speaking in a very upset tone because of the airline safety protocols. Again, we have heard individuals object to protocols before but this tone seemed different, angry.
According to the American Psychological Association, anger is defined as:
“An emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.
Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find solutions to problems.
But excessive anger can cause problems. Increased blood pressure and other physical changes associated with anger make it difficult to think straight and can harm your physical and mental health.”
It is also important to note that anger is the emotion and the behaviors we exhibit is where our choice is important. In other words, one may be upset that the other team has scored and offer a general disappointment. On the other hand, one can be angry that the other team has scored and then berate the officials, the coaches and even the players and keep it going throughout the game. What we heard was the latter.
During some of our workshops, participants have mentioned how they themselves are feeling more anger and that they seem to witness it more in others. A recent Gallup poll concluded that more Americans were stressed, worried, and angered compared to the previous year. Some mental health experts have described the festering tension that seems to drive public outbursts during times of crisis as an “anger incubator.”
So, how do you know if your level of anger is a problem? Here are some common symptoms that you might want to look for:
Anger that affects your relationships and social life.
Feeling that you must hide or hold in your anger.
Constant negative thinking and focusing on negative experiences.
Constantly feeling impatient, irritated and hostile.
Arguing with others often and getting angrier in the process.
Being physically violent when you’re angry.
Threatening violence to people or their property.
An inability to control your anger.
Feeling compelled to do, or doing, violent or impulsive things because you feel angry.
Staying away from certain situations because you’re anxious or depressed about your angry outbursts.
Although the emotion of anger can be a positive motivational force for change in one’s life, we are concentrating on anger that is not beneficial to self and others.
The first step in a process, to restructuring one’s anger, is to observe how anger is impacting you. Over the next week observe when you are angry and the level of impact it has on you and others. Begin to be an objective observer and next week we will offer a practical process to restructure your thinking and to become a better problem-solver during these trying times.
Key Takeaways
Individuals report that they are experiencing more negative anger.
Anger is an emotion that can have negative physical and mental health consequences.
We can control our behaviors that are the result of our anger.
Best Practices
Begin to monitor how your anger is expressed.
Start to be aware of what you are saying to yourself when you are angry.
Reflect on how others might view you.
Things to Limit
Mixing anger and alcohol.
Believing that someone else is responsible for your outrageous behavior when you are angry.
Trying to change others point of view
Quote of the Week
"Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing but it can destroy everything"
~ unknown
Anger is a natural emotion that we all experience. By understanding our anger and restructuring our thinking we can use this emotion as a motivation for greater understanding and more productive behaviors.
Be well,
The paraDocs
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The paraDocs are Dr. Francis L. Battisti, PhD, Psychotherapist, Distinguished Psychology Professor and former Executive V.P and Chief Academic Officer and Dr. Helen E. Battisti PhD, RDN, CDN, Chief Nutrition Officer, at SpNOD, Health Promotion Specialist, Research and Clinical Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and former Assistant Professor.
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