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  • Writer's pictureDr. Francis Battisti & Dr. Helen Battisti

The Zone - Volume 119

Are there additional ways to try and settle conflicts?

We received several feedback emails about last week’s topic, Conflict Management, and a general theme was, can we get more information about ways to reach resolution? Yes, there are many ways possible to reach resolution and sometimes you need to keep trying until you can breakthrough the wall of denial and anger.

An important point to reflect on, when dealing with long-term conflict, is how conflicts can keep us connected. It may be a dysfunctional connection, however, it is a connection. To move beyond the emotional barriers, one might ask these questions: “What would life be like if we resolved these conflicts?” “What would I do with myself if this/these conflict(s) were resolved?” “What does holding on to this anger do for me?” The answers to these questions might open possible gateways to resolution and getting on with living a healthier life.

A key to developing better conflict resolution skills is to work on your ability to better understand the other individuals’ world and how they think about the situation. This does not mean that you are going to agree with them, however, it broadens your lens into better understanding how someone can think differently than you. Some additional thoughts on understanding:

  • Understanding is the gift that comes from listening.

  • It involves asking questions rather than having the answer.

  • It allows differences to fade and similarities to come forth.

Some additional thoughts on being a better conflict resolver.

  • Choose time and place carefully.

  • Change behaviors/not people.

  • Find something to agree on.

  • Use “I” language.

  • Figure out where you’re wrong regarding your part.

  • Be precise with concerns.

  • When someone attacks… agree. Don’t push back. You may find you have some common agreements.

  • Give yourself time.

  • Have more CONFLICTS. Make resolution a personal skill.

  • Find the “3rd” option.

  • Agree on the future-stick to the plan.


Key Takeaways

  • Resolving conflicts takes resolve and patience.

  • We can be held captive by unresolved conflicts.

  • Understanding comes from a place of security and confidence in oneself.

Best Practices

Four steps to managing your own pressure

  • Recognize pressure cues.

  • Go to center.

  • Breathe fully.

  • Expand and act on your awareness.

Things to Limit

  • Waiting for the issue to resolve itself.

  • Believing that you have nothing to gain or lose with an unresolved conflict.

  • That nothing bothers you about the conflict.


Quote of the Week

“It is more rewarding to resolve a conflict that to dissolve a relationship.”

~ Josh McDowell


Developing the skills needed for healthy conflict resolution, patience, insight, understanding and compassion can assist you in so many other ways. Enjoy the journey.

Be well,

The paraDocs

Image by Tyler on Unsplash

Check our Welcome Greeting on YouTube

The paraDocs are Dr. Francis L. Battisti, PhD, Psychotherapist, Distinguished Psychology Professor and former Executive V.P and Chief Academic Officer and Dr. Helen E. Battisti PhD, RDN, CDN, Chief Nutrition Officer, at SpNOD, Health Promotion Specialist, Research and Clinical Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and former Assistant Professor.

We have developed "The ZONE", because that is exactly where you want to be during this pandemic. A place of focused attention to doing exactly what needs to be done to get you to where you need to be. The purpose of The Zone is to provide a nationally distributed weekly mental-health and nutrition tip-sheet during times of change.

If you would like to get copies of The ZONE that you may have missed or if you know someone that would like to start receiving The ZONE, please signup today... It's free and you can unsubscribe anytime.

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